I Quit

I quit my job today…well one of my jobs.  I knew this day would come but I didn’t know all of the emotions that would come with it.  Many of you do not know this about me but for the past 2 1/2 years I worked at a bank.  Before that, I worked at a bank and a mortgage company.  Banking was the first job that I came into since graduating college.   It’s also been the one industry that I have been trying to get out of.  I know, shocker…on top of my blog, styling and dancing for the Sixers, I too have had a full-time office job.  I’m writing this post today to be able to reflect on this decision in 6 months to a year.  Let me lay it out for you, and myself.

Why I quit

You know when you just feel out of place, Like you completely don’t fit in?  That’s been my struggle for the past 2 1/2 years (it’s been longer than that but let’s say that time frame for now).  I have always been a feeling person.  Of course, I try not to let my emotions run me but I think I have a really good intuition.  Well, I just knew this former job was not for me.  You know what it was?  Safe and secure.  So day in and day out I went to work, dreaming of something better, knowing that there is more out there for me.

A year went by, two years went by, my blog started growing more but I felt unsatisfied.  That feeling is very unsettling.  I wrestled with this idea that maybe I should take a leap of faith…too risky, so I stayed.  My final year as a Sixers dancer was coming to a close, I’m planning a wedding and had no idea what to do next.  Then an opportunity came for what I call my “dream job” as a fashion stylist.  A legit fashion stylist and the excitement was too much!  This could not have happened at a more perfect time.  It was sort of a “one door closes and another one opens” moment.  Then 6 months goes by.

Here I find myself more exhausted than ever, over worked yet still unsatisfied.  I distinctly remember sitting at my desk at work a couple of weeks ago saying “I want to do something crazy.”  I just couldn’t put my finger on what it was.  Maybe it was God, intuition, a little nudge from the universe, whatever you call it but I quietly ignored that voice.  It was just a nagging feeling inside.  A few things happened leading up to the day I made the decision.  The biggest eye opener was my fortune in my fortune cookie I got 2 days before I put my notice in.  The fortune read, “Be aware of an opportunity knocking at your door.”  At first I did not take heed to anything.  After toying with the idea in my head, I finally said it out loud and then it all made sense.

To make a really long story not as long here we are.  I’m out in the open, vulnerable and facing the unknown.  Yes I still have a job outside of this blog but realize that I’m freelancing full time.  It’s scary and risky but also so exciting knowing that I am no longer holding myself back.  This will lead to more flexibility for more content.  I already feel a creative jolt and shift in my physche.  I’m so nervous and anxious but more or so excited for this next chapter!  Going into the unknown and taking a leap of faith.  If your dreams don’t scare you, they’re not big enough. 

There’s an awesome quote by Dr. Martin Luther King Jr. that says, “Take the first step in faith.  You don’t have to see the whole staircase just to take the first step.”

Thanks for reading!