What I Learned

As I enter my last physical therapy session, I’d like to reflect on what I learned while being injured. This post will be longer than most but I’m writing this more for me than anything.

Number 1.  I realized how much I love dancing and how much I love my team (teammates and the Sixers organization). This being my 6th year on the team, it’s easy to take everything for granted.  I’ve danced since I was 3 years old so I don’t even think twice when it comes to doing it anymore. It’s a basic instinct for me. It’s the same as breathing. You don’t think about taking breaths and breathing in and out…you just do it.

As far as my teammates, they are the sisters I never had and my coach is like our mom. We don’t always see eye-to-eye.  There are days when we have games 4 days a week on top of practices or your brain is fried from learning 3 dances in 6 hours at a boot camp to prepare for the season but it’s all worth it. The Sixers organziation is my family and the arena is my home. That may sound really cheesy but after dancing for the past 6 years, countless hours of practices, blood sweat and tears…you get the point. The support I have been shown has been endless and I’ve been nothing but thankful and grateful.

Number 2. I love blogging and taking pictures!  I originally started this blog because I had way too many clothes and people would always ask about my outfits. Since then it’s transformed into more than just fashion and while being injured I realized that I could contribute more to this blog than just fashion.  I wasn’t able to do any new fashion posts for 8 weeks!!!  I was devastated because I didn’t think people would read my blog anymore if I didn’t have new outfit posts. Even after that, I had to wear that orthopedic boot and I thought “no one wants to see that” or “that doesn’t match anything” lol.

Number 3. I can’t stand not being in control. The moment after surgery when my nerve block was still active and I went to move my foot and couldn’t was very scary. I had no control of my movement and that terrified me.  Even as I go through physical therapy it’s crazy to not be able to articulate your muscles when in your mind you think you can.

Number 4. Every day is a gift. People say this all of the time but I don’t think they truly mean it until going through a traumatic event.

Number 5. Last but not least, it’s okay not to be okay. I think I’m a strong person to a fault. There were plenty of times when I wasn’t okay but I said I was. Major injuries are mentally and emotionally trying.  Honestly the emotional part is the hardest for me to grasp and I’m still working on it.  My first practice back to watch my teammates was tough.  I felt like “I should be there”, this isn’t fair” and “why me!?”   I was so upset after leaving the practice I went home and  cried. When I went to physical therapy the next day, I told my therapist and he asked me how I felt like mentally. I told him it was hard and a lot to take it. It was like realizing that I’m actually  injured. It’s so easy to get one negative thought in your mind and then let your imagination run away with it.

I still have a ways to go but I’m slowly starting to feel like myself again. My muscles and foot articulate when I want them to, I’m getting stronger physically and mentally. It’s so crazy all of the eye opening moments I had and am still having throughout this time.  I thank everyone for all their support throughout this journey.   Most of all I would like to thank my amazing physical therapist Jerry.  Today is my last day of physical therapy.  It’s been an emotional roller coaster but I’m so excited to get back to doing what I love!  I also hope to not have to go through this ever again :-).

Below are some images from the date of injury to today.  If you are squeamish, you might want to stop looking now lol.

 

 

Thank you all for reading and have a great weekend!